This weekend (1/22) would have been Millie's tenth birthday. I thought about it a lot last week, but when the actual day came, I couldn't think about it much. I want to always celebrate her life, above all else, on her birthday; I'll have no choice but to remember her death on that anniversary. But I'm not yet at the point where I can really think about her life without thinking about her death and just how empty I feel without her. I don't want her birthday to be about that. So I ended up putting it out of my head as much as I could on Saturday. Upon reflection, though, I do wish I'd eaten a banana for her.
Mostly, all I've been able to think about regarding her birthday is how unreal it is that one year ago she was still here and we were blissfully ignorant that we had less than two months left together in this world. That, and how short nine years is.
I miss you constantly, babygirl. Happy birthday, sweetheart.
